Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Media Day: Picking On The Scabs






(Editor's note: The following contains justifiably profane language.)


The Buffalo Bills are 2-1, tied for first in the AFC East. C.J. Spiller is out for Sunday's visit by the stumbling New England Patriots. Fred Jackson might be back.

None of that mattered Tuesday, in Buffalo or around the football-centric world, thanks to what happened Monday night in Seattle.

If any good has come from the National Football League’s latest union-breaking effort, it is that the loathsomely hapless scab refs have supplanted awkward senior portraits, highly expressive cats and your least favorite presidential candidate atop the meme-fodder charts. At least for the moment.

Late Monday night, Seattle quarterback Russell Wilson arched a throw into the end zone, which Green Bay defensive back M.D. Jennings, in the eyes of any responsible adult, intercepted. So, after much huddling, tape-watching and panic, the scabs  -- the guys masquerading as game officials while the men they are undercutting are locked out by the league -- awarded the Seahawks a touchdown.

And the football game.

Then the internet blew up.

I was not watching the game, as I had reached my weekly quota for tubby guys in striped shirts huddled in confusion by the end of the Bills-Browns game on Sunday, and first learned of the debacle in Seattle via social media. MySpace, I think.

After further review, Scott Norwood's field goal at Super Bowl XXV was good,” statused Pat Murray, a veteran Western New York sportswriter-turned-media relations at Lamar University in Texas.

By morning, the wisecrack had taken the form in which most meaningful sentiments are conveyed using the latest in digital technology – block letters superimposed on photographs.




Shortly after Golden Tate was awarded what quite possibly stands as the least-legitimate touchdown in the 93-year history of the NFL, Twitter was clogged with not only the predictable array of fan and media rants, but open hostility from players around the league. Minutes after the game, Packers tackle T.J. Lang fired off this broadside at the league, which Buzzfeed reported is on pace to become the most re-Tweeted message in the history of the platform.


There would be plenty of other scab-inspired creations floating around before Tuesday was over:













And then there was the unsocial media. While every sportswriter in America felt morally required to weigh in on the scabs (SPOILER ALERT: They’re bad!), Greg Bishop of the New York Times captured the moment and its aftermath with succinct precision.


In summary: the player who caught the winning score clearly pushed off to do so. He did not appear to really catch anything. One referee signaled a touchdown for the hometown Seahawks. Another seemingly signaled an interception for Green Bay.

For its part, the National Football League issued a bizarre statement that simultaneously said, "Oops!" and "Cram it."

While the ball is in the air, Tate can be seen shoving Green Bay cornerback Sam Shields to the ground. This should have been a penalty for offensive pass interference, which would have ended the game. It was not called and is not reviewable in instant replay. ...

Referee Wayne Elliott determined that no indisputable visual evidence existed to overturn the call on the field, and as a result, the on-field ruling of touchdown stood. The NFL Officiating Department reviewed the video today and supports the decision not to overturn the on-field ruling following the instant replay review.
The result of the game is final.

Then came the calls for the head and/or genitalia of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, blamed by the reasonable and unreasonable alike for creating this mess in the first place. As Drew Magary wrote on Deadspin (which provides a comprehensive rundown of its scab-ref coverage here):

 
He's presided over two consecutive primetime NFL games that stand among the greatest farces in the history of organized sports, if you don't count the other equally buttfucked 48 games this season. The final touchdown call last night wasn't even the worst call of the game, which is amazing because that was a fucking horrific call (look at the pictures from the catch; it'll tell you more about the play than watching the video). Goodell has somehow succeeded in making NFL games feel utterly meaningless, and I don't know how you can fuck things up any worse than that.


With no progress yet reported on ending the Goodell-imposed lockout of its real, remotely competent officials, the NFL appears bent on giving it its best shot at doing just that this weekend.

In the meantime, We Want Marangi eagerly awaits the creation of an angry cat/scab ref meme.

2 comments:

  1. If the screwing had happened to a different team, say the Giants, Cowboys, or Patriots, would the league have reacted the same? Or would Ed Hochli be getting fitted for a uni ASAP?

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  2. Gee whiz what a sllly uproar. As if the NFL hadn't become a joke before the latest scandal. But does that mean that I gotta hear about this everywhere? I guess so because toolboxes like Paul Ryan have entered the equation. What nobody seems to want to mention is that it was a shitty game (yeah I watched the whole damn thing) played by two shitty teams that nobody outside of Wisconsin, Washington states and gamblers and fantasy geeks really seemed to care about.


    The experience left me unclean, like a moment that you look back on and say wow there goes three hours of my life.

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