Media Day: Same Old Stories

Every Media Day has an overarching storyline, a theme that will be repeated in every newspaper and on every broadcast and online media outlet during the days leading up to the game.

The recent history between the two teams is always a popular hook, if those games were remotely interesting or important. “It’s Miami week!” was always a winner during the days I spent on the Bills beat in the 1990s and early 2000s, before both franchises had perfected securing draft positions somewhere between sixth and 15^th while steadily alienating their respective fan bases.

A key player returning from an injury is next on the list. Then comes the key player or coach facing his former team for the first time (SPOILER ALERT: The Bills visit Houston on Nov. 4. Be prepared for an onslaught of “Mario Williams goes home” pieces. Assuming the struggling defensive end is not on injured reserve by then).

None of these obvious angles applies to Buffalo’s trip to San Francisco this weekend. This forces media types to dig a little deeper to find the obvious. So you can expect to hear innumerable variations on the following exchange, stripped of obligatory football cliché and translated by your friends at We Want Marangi:

REPORTER (or videographer awkwardly holding a microphone in front of his camera because his station has discovered it can get away with having one person do the jobs of two): Having slapped around the two lousy teams you have played, while getting curb-stomped by the two opponents with a realistic chance of making the playoffs, how important is beating the 49ers?

PLAYER (or coach, or whomever else has been cleared to speak to the media): Very.

The stories that result from such withering interrogation are vital to the reader’s enjoyment of the game, because they help he or she understand that not only does his or her favorite team intend to defeat the opponent, but that its players will indeed try to do so.

Not only that, they fill time and/or space.

ACTUAL NEWS does occasionally break out on Media Day. Today, Mario Williams talked for the first time about the degree to which the wrist he injured in the preseason has affected his performance, or lack thereof, through his first four games after signing the largest contract in franchise history.

"I'm a hands-on player and it's all about power in my game," he said. "It's just been a little odd having a little nick or whatever and not being able to use it to the full extent, but you know, you gotta play. When you're out there on Sunday, you gotta play regardless of what's going on."

The second half of the above quote will no doubt be widely ignored by fans looking for a scapegoat for Buffalo’s embarrassing losses to the Jets and Patriots, who will attack him for “making excuses,” ignoring the high probability that he only mentioned the injury because he was asked about it.

Those irate callers, online commenters and bar-stool tough guys will also dismiss the notion that, while Williams has yet to look anything like the best-compensated defensive player in the league, Buffalo has had much bigger problems in both blowouts.

THOUGH THE PATRIOTS DISASTER is best forgotten, and quickly, by both the Bills and fans alike, a couple of indelible images emerged.

One was the looping gif of Tom Brady graciously previewing Halloween by saying “Thank you, witches,” or something like that, after scoring the game-tying touchdown.

The other was the freakishly good photograph of Patriots wideout Brandon Lloyd launching himself into the end zone for the game’s final touchdown, as seen at the top of this post.

Capturing Lloyd soaring through the autumn afternoon was impressive, and fortunate (as photographer Keith Nordstrom explains here), enough. It was his unnerving mid-flight grin, though, that turned the image into a viral sensation.

As with most weirdly iconic images, Deadspin sponsored a Photoshop contest aimed at perverting Nordstrom's fine work.

This was probably our favorite, because we are old.

Or maybe this one, because we are juvenile.

See all the finalists and pick your own winner here.