Mascots Assist In Brainwashing Process

Yesterday, Oscar and I discovered the "Mascot Mash-Up" mode on EA Sports' NCAA Football '11, in which each university is represented by a full roster of their respective anthropomorphic, overstuffed and/or slightly racist symbols.

Pictured above, one of Oscar's Notre Dame leprechauns gets smoked by a Knight from the University of Central Florida, as played by his older brother, Jackson, on the Xbox 360.

Unfortunately, the mascots are interchangeable in their abilities. Might spice things up a little if the Knight could ward off tacklers with a broadsword, or the leprechaun could break open a whisky bottle while making an open-field tackle. Of course, this would probably place the teams with bear or big-cat avatars at an unfair advantage.

Judging from their interest level (they played through an entire game, with no encouragement from me, and despite the Knights, whose giant helmets give them a big aesthetic edge over the unarmored leprechauns, taking control in the second half of a 36-11 romp), this might be the hook that finally softens them up for their full indoctrination into the cult of football.

Hopefully, three-plus hours of the Bills and the Jets later this afternoon will not be enough to negate this bit of brilliance, and poison an 10-year-old and his almost-7-year-old brother to the sport forever.

So if you're reading this, Rex Ryan and Doug Marrone (and I know you are), a bit of your sport's future is on your shoulders.